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Self growth

HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

Have you ever compared yourself to someone? I know I have and you have too. I guess it’s just part of the human nature. Often times either consciously or subconsciously, we find ourselves comparing ourselves to someone either in a positive or negative way.

Comparing yourself to others wouldn’t do you any good at all so you shouldn’t waste your precious time comparing yourself to someone, feeling sad and getting into depression. You don’t need it.


Comparing yourself to others is unhealthy for you in all ways possible. It lowers your self esteem, it makes you sad, it makes you angry, it could also make you depressed and envious. So tell me do you want to feel this negative emotions?
Comparison is the thief of joy, when you compare your success to someone’s, you don’t feel to pleased with yourself. Take for instance, I’m feeling happy that I just accomplished a goal I’ve been working hard for but then I realize that my neighbour is celebrating something bigger, it takes the joy away when I feel like my celebration is nothing compared to hers. And out goes my joy. Poof! Disappeared into thin air.


I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t compared myself to someone, I’m sure everyone on earth has at one point in time or another. Comparing myself to someone didn’t make me feel good in any way, it just made me realize all the things I was lacking and made me feel sad and envious that I didn’t have them. I know we’ve all been in similar situations so I’m writing this to help us be cautious of it and stop comparing ourselves to others.


KNOW THE CAUSE: know why you compare yourself to others, know your triggers, for me it’s Instagram. Become aware of why you compare yourself to someone. Is it fear that you are not doing something well enough, is it anxiety, is it jealousy, does it come from a place of lack? Most times mine come from a place of lack because I feel like I don’t have something they do. Do you find yourself saying something like this “if only I had a car like Sam.”. Words like as, if, like are commonly used in comparison. How often do you find yourself using these words and why?


KNOW WHO YOU ARE: know who you are, your purpose and your path. We all have different calling and purpose. Your path wouldn’t be the same with Jenny so why are you comparing yourself to Jenny? You are two different people with different parts and purpose. Her way is not going to be your way. You don’t have to have a car like Sam at 25, you don’t have to have the same job as Jenny to be successful. Your paths are completely different, what works for Jenny may not work for you and what works for you may not work for Jenny. Know who you are, know your values, know the path you are on. You’d find it easier to stay on track that way if you know where you are going. Be you, stop trying to be like someone else, they are already taken, you’re only going to loose yourself trying to be someone else. Know what is for you and what is not for you, don’t measure your worth in relations to someone else.


BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE: be grateful for the little things. If your comparison stems from lack be thankful for the things you do have. Keep a gratitude journal if you have to. Be grateful for the little things, those things you take for granted that other people are in need of. Focus on what you have and be grateful for it.


KILL COMPARATIVE THOUGHTS: anytime you compare yourself to others, pick up your anti comparative thoughts and stab the comparative thoughts in the face. Kill the comparative thoughts until there’s nothing left before they start to grow. If you focus on your comparative thoughts you are practically feeding it, watering the thought to grow from a seed to a tree and we surely don’t want thoughts like that in our mind garden. You want to grow and nurture the good thoughts, the one that makes you happy and feel complete. For everything you feel like you are lacking have affirmations to counter the comparative thoughts, they are going to be your swords to kill your comparative thoughts. So have your affirmations ready to go to war. If you are thinking from a place of lack change it to a place of abundance. Have those positive thoughts and words you can think and say to yourself when you realize you are comparing yourself to others. For every negative thoughts, write something positive. Say your affirmations day and night until it becomes part of you. Have a mindful mindset to seive the negative and retain the positive.


ADMIRE OTHERS: instead of being jealous, envious or anything, admire them. Admire and appreciate their effort, their wins, their success and accomplishments. When you start doing this you no longer worry about measuring up to them because you admire them and you’re happy for them. Appreciate what you desire not deprecate it. Be happy for people instead of being jealous of them.


I know in this social media era it’s so easy to compare yourself to people you find on social media. Keep this in mind, no one is going to post their failures except if they want you to learn from it, people will post their highlight which you’ll then compare with your backstory.

Note that not everything on social media is real, people potray the part of them they are most proud of or try to be something they are not. There’s no need to compare yourself to them. You should only compare yourself with yourself. The person you were, the person you are and the person you want to be.

Don’t put others on a pinnacle and place yourself at the foot of the pinnacle. Don’t measure your worth in relations to someone else. Know your worth, have confidence in yourself and your abilities. Don’t try to live up to someone’s standards or seek validation from someone. The moment I started doing this I realized I stopped comparing myself to others.


What do you need to purposely stay away from? If it’s social media take a break. I’ve started staying away from social media and it had helped me. No more sticking my nose in someone’s business, no more following of people that won’t add value to me and make me feel inadequate. Take a break if you have to, mute that person, unfollow that person, if it would give you peace of mind by all means do so. Know the content you are consuming, follow motivational and inspirational accounts if you have to.

Stop comparing yourself to others and stay away from things that would make you compare yourself to others. Love yourself and know that you are more than enough. You don’t have to be like somebody else to be a somebody, you are you and that’s your power.


Let me know if you if you’ve compared yourself to someone, why you did and how you overcame it. Don’t forget to like, comment and follow. Updates are every Wednesday. Thanks for reading, have a lovely day.

Check out my Instagram account where I post quotes here

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94 replies on “HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS”

Such a great post!! I think it’s so easy to fall into the habit of comparing yourself to others and believing everything you see on social media despite knowing it’s curated to only the good. Like you I also know Instagram is bad for me, so now I go on it a lot less. I think your tips for staying away from comparison are great! I personally use positive affirmations too and found that they’ve really boosted my confidence. Thank you for sharing x

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I definitely used to compare myself, especially to my best friend, which wasn’t a good thing at all. It took me years to learn out of the vicious cycle of comparison, but goodness it was worth the bother! And the key to learning out of it is to be grateful for everything you are and have. Gratefulness can be such a strong tool in building out self-confidence, and after you master that, you notice how you’re also happy for other people for their success. Because someone else succeeding is never anything away from us. Au contraire 🙂 Great post!

Teresa Maria | Outlandish Blog

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I’m glad that you don’t anymore. I also used to compare myself with my friends but now I’ve learnt not to by having a gratitude attitude. Thanks for reading 😀

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Yeah, social media makes it easy for people to compare themselves to others and it’s good that you are focusing on what makes you special. Thanks for reading 😀

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“comparison is the thief of joy” this has been coming to the forefront a lot in my life lately. I think I found this post for a reason 🙂

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This is such a good and positive post! I have learned to see Instagram as just the highlights of people’s lives, and not compare myself to them. I still have a tendency to compare myself to the people I know in person, so your advice is helpful for me!

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‘Comparison is your worst enemy.’ I couldn’t agree more with this saying. It’s really unhealthy to compare ourselves to others. We’re all unique and we shouldn’t all be the same. It’s just unnatural. I love all the tips you’ve given because they’re really useful.

I used to compare myself to girls with a better physique, better skin, more beautiful hair, etc. It was detrimental. I felt so bad all the time because I thought I was something less than them.

Well, the truth is I’m not. I am myself and there’s nobody like me. And there’s nobody like you. We should love ourselves! And as you’ve said, we should be thankful for what WE have.

Thank you for this post. It’s truly beautiful.

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“comparison is the theif of joy” I felt this quote to my bones, such a great, informative and uplifting post! It’s so important to be yourself as you are the biggest love of you life so it can be so easy to compare yourself to others, thank you for sharing!!!

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This was a great piece. I find myself thinking some of these phrases specifically in my personal life about my body. I often have to challenge those thoughts and be grateful that my body is healthy and Carrie’s me through.

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Yeah, it’s unfair to us because that’s what we mostly do, comparing someone’s chapter 12 to our chapter 3 forgetting the person was once there also. We all have different journeys, we’d surely get to where we want to on time.

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Thanks for this, it’s such an important topic! I think we’ve all been there, comparing ourselves to others. I’ve worked hard to stop doing this the last few years. The only person I compare myself to now is me. Have I made progress? Am I better than I was before? That’s all that matters!

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I tend to compare myself to my brother, but that’s more healthy comparison and its more to push each other to become the best versions of ourselves!

However, i am guilty of unhealthy comparison and that is something I am trying to work on so I do this less. I like your point when you talk about knowing the cause of the comparison! In my opinion before you can take steps to stop comparing yourself to others, you need to know what is causing it.

Feel free to read some of my blogs 🙂

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Oh wow! This sounds something like my choice of stuff. I least bother what people think and comparing comes nowhere. Though people always provoke me to compare self to somebody else, but I believe in being ‘my own favourite ‘! Completely insightful post. Loved the read.

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I wrote a post called ‘Seeing Ourselves As We Are’ that reflects on this a bit too — the idea that our successes or achievements need to be on some kind of timeline or compared to other people — which just sets us up for negativity. Great post with some good advice. Thanks for sharing!

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This is a great post! I think with social media it’s all too easy to compare ourselves, like you said. Something that really helps me is keeping track of my goals and steps I’ve taken to reach them. For example, if I’m comparing myself to others and feeling like I’ve not got the perfect diet or healthy lifestyle, I’ll look over my goals and realise that I’ve made progress by consistently eating 5 portions of fruit and veg a day. I don’t know why, but it really helps me 🙂 xx

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Excellent post Anita. We are all bad at self-comparison sometimes, even without realising it. Social media doesn’t help either. We are all awesome as we are!

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Great post! Found your blog last week and I’ve enjoyed reading your work. I think knowing why I compare myself to others has been a huge help, sometimes it’s a complicated reason and other times it’s so simple. It’s hard for me to do it, but knowing that confidence in your own path will help with this is going to become one of my goals for this month. Thanks for sharing!

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Oh gosh yes, I’m definitely guilty of this. Mine’s probably about blogging – I see all these success stories and just feel like I’m never going to get that for myself. But you’re right: it should totally be about admiring what they’re doing and working on your own journey than a comparison. Thanks for sharing!

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I find myself comparing all the time and bringing myself down. It’s why I’ve decided to start writing on my blog about self compassion and self love. I really enjoyed this post and it’s definitely helped me understand I need to learn my triggers and know who I really am.

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Thanks for reading. I know sometimes it’s nearly impossible not to compare yourself to someone else but you could at least try and once you do you’ll notice that you’ve stopped or you don’t do it as often as you used to.

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Really great post, thank you for sharing. I compare myself to other a lot, but I have learned that we are all unique and have different backstories, so comparison is useless !

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Great post and great suggestions! My favourite is “admire others and appreciate them.” We don’t do that enough and I think it can really change our mindset around comparison as well as build stronger relationships. Thank for sharing this post!

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My worst habit is comparing myself to others, it’s like a bit of poison gets into my brain and I can’t get it out! This post is excellent for showing me that it’s not healthy (I already know this, but it’s good to be reminded) and good coping mechanisms to stop this awful behaviour!

Rosie

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I’m really bad for comparing myself to others- and I definitely think social media has a lot to do with that. That’s why I try to focus on my blog social media sites, and avoid personal social media accounts as I feel I am more likely to compare myself to my friends and peers if I see them constantly supposedly having a better time than me. Thank you for sharing these tips x

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I do the same thing too 😂
I just focus on my blog social media sites where I’m following a lot of inspiring things and avoid my personal one because I’ll most likely compare myself to others, how they are having fun or the latest thing they acquired and that’s not healthy. Thanks for reading and sharing. 🤗

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This is a VERY important post. Comparison is the thief of joy. I love the point of owning who you are and owning your ‘calling’. Even if two people had the same interests we are still unique in our approaches so just own it.

Really beautifully put and a nice post to read and remember how special we all are! x

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This was such an interesting read and very needed! I always compare myself to others, thinking that everyone is doing better or succeeding more than me and never realising that we are all in a different path and are different people. Learning to be grateful for what you have and achieve is so important! Thanks for sharing x

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I love how you described it – everybody has compared themselves with others indeed but it’s a question of finding the positive things not negative

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