HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

Have you ever compared yourself to someone? I know I have and you have too. I guess it’s just part of the human nature. Often times either consciously or subconsciously, we find ourselves comparing ourselves to someone either in a positive or negative way.

Comparing yourself to others wouldn’t do you any good at all so you shouldn’t waste your precious time comparing yourself to someone, feeling sad and getting into depression. You don’t need it.

Comparing yourself to others is unhealthy for you in all ways possible. It lowers your self esteem, it makes you sad, it makes you angry, it could also make you depressed and envious. So tell me do you want to feel this negative emotions?
Comparison is the thief of joy, when you compare your success to someone’s, you don’t feel to pleased with yourself. Take for instance, I’m feeling happy that I just accomplished a goal I’ve been working hard for but then I realize that my neighbour is celebrating something bigger, it takes the joy away when I feel like my celebration is nothing compared to hers. And out goes my joy. Poof! Disappeared into thin air.

I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t compared myself to someone, I’m sure everyone on earth has at one point in time or another. Comparing myself to someone didn’t make me feel good in any way, it just made me realize all the things I was lacking and made me feel sad and envious that I didn’t have them. I know we’ve all been in similar situations so I’m writing this to help us be cautious of it and stop comparing ourselves to others.

KNOW THE CAUSE: know why you compare yourself to others, know your triggers, for me it’s Instagram. Become aware of why you compare yourself to someone. Is it fear that you are not doing something well enough, is it anxiety, is it jealousy, does it come from a place of lack? Most times mine come from a place of lack because I feel like I don’t have something they do. Do you find yourself saying something like this “if only I had a car like Sam.”. Words like as, if, like are commonly used in comparison. How often do you find yourself using these words and why?

KNOW WHO YOU ARE: know who you are, your purpose and your path. We all have different calling and purpose. Your path wouldn’t be the same with Jenny so why are you comparing yourself to Jenny? You are two different people with different parts and purpose. Her way is not going to be your way. You don’t have to have a car like Sam at 25, you don’t have to have the same job as Jenny to be successful. Your paths are completely different, what works for Jenny may not work for you and what works for you may not work for Jenny. Know who you are, know your values, know the path you are on. You’d find it easier to stay on track that way if you know where you are going. Be you, stop trying to be like someone else, they are already taken, you’re only going to loose yourself trying to be someone else. Know what is for you and what is not for you, don’t measure your worth in relations to someone else.

BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE: be grateful for the little things. If your comparison stems from lack be thankful for the things you do have. Keep a gratitude journal if you have to. Be grateful for the little things, those things you take for granted that other people are in need of. Focus on what you have and be grateful for it.

KILL COMPARATIVE THOUGHTS: anytime you compare yourself to others, pick up your anti comparative thoughts and stab the comparative thoughts in the face. Kill the comparative thoughts until there’s nothing left before they start to grow. If you focus on your comparative thoughts you are practically feeding it, watering the thought to grow from a seed to a tree and we surely don’t want thoughts like that in our mind garden. You want to grow and nurture the good thoughts, the one that makes you happy and feel complete. For everything you feel like you are lacking have affirmations to counter the comparative thoughts, they are going to be your swords to kill your comparative thoughts. So have your affirmations ready to go to war. If you are thinking from a place of lack change it to a place of abundance. Have those positive thoughts and words you can think and say to yourself when you realize you are comparing yourself to others. For every negative thoughts, write something positive. Say your affirmations day and night until it becomes part of you. Have a mindful mindset to seive the negative and retain the positive.

ADMIRE OTHERS: instead of being jealous, envious or anything, admire them. Admire and appreciate their effort, their wins, their success and accomplishments. When you start doing this you no longer worry about measuring up to them because you admire them and you’re happy for them. Appreciate what you desire not deprecate it. Be happy for people instead of being jealous of them.

I know in this social media era it’s so easy to compare yourself to people you find on social media. Keep this in mind, no one is going to post their failures except if they want you to learn from it, people will post their highlight which you’ll then compare with your backstory.

Note that not everything on social media is real, people potray the part of them they are most proud of or try to be something they are not. There’s no need to compare yourself to them. You should only compare yourself with yourself. The person you were, the person you are and the person you want to be.

Don’t put others on a pinnacle and place yourself at the foot of the pinnacle. Don’t measure your worth in relations to someone else. Know your worth, have confidence in yourself and your abilities. Don’t try to live up to someone’s standards or seek validation from someone. The moment I started doing this I realized I stopped comparing myself to others.

What do you need to purposely stay away from? If it’s social media take a break. I’ve started staying away from social media and it had helped me. No more sticking my nose in someone’s business, no more following of people that won’t add value to me and make me feel inadequate. Take a break if you have to, mute that person, unfollow that person, if it would give you peace of mind by all means do so. Know the content you are consuming, follow motivational and inspirational accounts if you have to.

Stop comparing yourself to others and stay away from things that would make you compare yourself to others. Love yourself and know that you are more than enough. You don’t have to be like somebody else to be a somebody, you are you and that’s your power.

Let me know if you if you’ve compared yourself to someone, why you did and how you overcame it. Don’t forget to like, comment and follow. Updates are every Wednesday. Thanks for reading, have a lovely day.

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